The First 3 Days...
WEDNESDAY 6/5/19...
The night Aidan's water broke, my grip failed me and I shattered my rose quartz stone on
the bathroom floor. What is the significance of this you ask? I carry the stone with me everyday for good energy and I was hoping to bring that energy to the twins birth. To me, it was a blatant omen of how my birth story would unfold; the stone literally means nourishment & comfort and I just crushed it. Now, I'm not crazy into symbolism, but I knew at that moment my acceptance that this birth was not going to go as beautifully as I had played it out in my mind was necessary.
MY BIRTH VISION...
I imagined being at home in a birth tub, my husband holding my hand while I pushed through the birth; looking out at our canyon view with my amazing birth team there to assist. Baby A would be delivered vaginally and shortly after Baby B would come into the world. I would immediately have skin-to-skin contact then breastfeed them both right out of the womb. I would choose no epidural, no pitosis and the absolute LAST resort for me was to end up in a hospital, it was simply not the place I wanted to bring my children into this world. I did my extensive research on epidurals, pitosis, c-sections, the hospital atmosphere and the effects it all has on the mother and babes-to-be. I wanted to make an informed decision. These were my wishes and my birth team was aware and ready to honor each one along the way; I am forever grateful of that. Let me say this, for all the women I've heard their birth stories, I get it now, we each have our own story and sometimes the situation is out of our control no matter how meticulous we are in the planning...
Being my first time around, I had no idea what to expect when Aidans ("BabyA") water broke and labor began. At 11:30pm, I stood in our living room over my puddle, uncertain of what came next and debating whether it was worth waking up my husband from his deep sleep. I couldn't hold my excitement in and I went running upstairs to whisper him awake with the news! My contractions didn't seem to come on slowly, instead they pounded right to my back, hips & spine. Each one seemed to jolt my misaligned spine further from its center while hammering shots into my hips. Around 1am we started up a pattern; I roll onto the floor in pain, kneel with my ribs to head on the bed while he uses all his might to push the hips into alignment. Rinse & Repeat made for a sleep score of 2 hours total that night...
THURSDAY 6/6/19...
We knew the day was going to be long given our lack of sleep and the persisting pattern of contractions. Our midwife came over to check in; observing that I was still in the early labor stages she suggested preparing the house for birth and stocking up the kitchen. Set to task, my husband hopped in the car to collect any last minute necessities plus enough food to feed an army. The second he drove away, I remember feeling fear that I wouldn't be able to handle the labor pains or the more extreme possibility of giving birth to the nuggets without him there!
I attempted to keep moving and stretching, doing all the things I had trained to do in order to feel comfort between the surges as they started to increase with pain and pressure. The things that I needed most sleep, food and water seemed so far away from accomplishing, I remember thinking, "am I a wimp?! Why can't I just push through this all!" Making it through the day, Thursday night rolled in bringing pain induced vomiting & demanding even harder hip pushes from the husband. At this point, the midwife explained that everything I had experienced was "normal", so we both bore through the night waking up every couple of minutes. I'd roll over screaming in agony & breathing through as hubby pushed the hips back into alignment...
FRIDAY MORNING 6/7/19
My husband nor I had gotten a wink of sleep. As soon as we'd close an eye for a second contractions seemed to follow closer to the last and at one point I stayed in the kneeling position until the morning. Through the LA traffic, our birth team arrived at the house; bring in the amazing Doctor - the only doctor in southern LA that will deliver twins at home (badass), our midwife with her comforting knowledge & our photographer-doula with her ever-calming presence. The minutes seemed to blur together after they arrived, I could only exist in the world of my labor; breathing and receiving each surge after the next. The problem? The contractions were hammering but my cervix was still only dilated to 1cm and we were now two days into the labor, the powers that be were not allowing the body to work as a cohesive unit. Around this time, Dr. & the team decided to encourage the cervix and manually opened it up to 4cm...which felt like to a "ripping" contraction. I remember the fatigue being so severe that standing seemed like the hardest thing in the world, and it was at this point I overheard the doc say, "I don't understand why this isn't a normal labor." His assistant kept encouraging me to eat the rice cake and honey that sat near the bed and all I could keep thinking was, " If I had the energy I would throw this damn rice cake at your head," needless to say everything was uncomfortable and I had no desire to eat because even existing seemed difficult.
The birth team excused themselves to discuss the next steps and the hubby joined... he returned with the suggestion we move to the hospital. But this wasn't ANY hospital; it was two hours away across LA traffic. Why this particular hospital? Because my (kickass) birth team RESPECTED my wishes to deliver vaginally and the specific doctor at this hospital would as well.
The team started to prepare for the trip; packing food (we knew the hospital would have limited options for the nutrition), packing clothes for me and planning out the ride. As they did, the feeling of defeat started to overwhelm me; I didn't want to accept this was how the twins birth was happening and I wanted to control it. The realization, the symbolism of the broken rose-quartz snuck back into my mind, was this was going to be my story and to embrace it as a whole.
To be honest, most thoughts at this point had to be put to rest so I could prioritize the urgency of the situation and head for the hospital. After a steaming, contraction-filled shower, my doctor helped me throw on a dress and, we started down the stairs. I remember stopping to realize i absolutely NEEDED my face lotion, which in retrospect was only important at that moment. The team assisted me to the car, since even standing seemed like a struggle and our amazing doctor (now volunteer chauffeur) braved the canyon curves and the city traffic to get us where we needed to be.
I DON'T REMEMBER...the two hour ride to the hospital, just the ebbs and flows of my pain intensifying as I kneeled hunched over the back seat of the Drs car. Once we arrived at the hospital the promise of an epidural was in the near future; after about an hour of checking in and checking vitals the "epidural man" arrived - and man was I happy to see him. I never wanted an epidural, I knew the consequences for me and the babes; but that was not how it was going to play out. The first epidural had little effect because my spine remained mis-aligned so a particular dose was needed in a specific spot to settle the surges. Enter my next angel, the hospital doc: the man we drove across town to see, the man who truly TRUSTED my birth process and the man who was the reason the nuggets were delivered vaginally. The immediate EASE that arrived when he walked into the room with his sandals and Hawaiin shirt, is a feeling I still cannot fully describe to this day. As my legs numbed and became useless, Dr broke down what was the process going forward... and dropped the word pitocin. It felt like my heart broke again, this is NOT how I wanted this to go down... bravely asking if we could do without it. He was so precise & thorough as to why we would want to use it and how; they were going to give me a max of 6 and typically women will have 20-40 units. The reason for it would be to encourage the body to start moving toward birth. Since Aidan had already been floating around without his water and in his own meconium for two days now and we needed a lil nudge to get things moving. The informed consent part of this is important to notice - I had a choice and could've said no - the Dr made sure I had all the information necessary to make the decision that was right for me.
FRIDAY EVENING...As I dozed off from complete fatigue, the birth team follow my lead cramped in the hospital chairs in support. WE all attempted to get a bit of rest waiting for the twins arrival...
The Lesgourgues Twins Birth: Part Two HOSPITAL - HERE